Being honest about who we are, we can’t keep things like this from you…
We are not about only sharing the good things and pretending bad things do not happen to us. That would be completely wrong.
Just like everyone, there are days and periods that are going less great.
I have fibromyalgia.
Had it since I was a teenager. Probably even before that, but most symptoms started in my 10s.
Living in a time where fibromyalgia wasn’t “a thing” yet, I was not taken seriously by anyone. Parents, family, teachters, classmates and even doctors tought it was all in my head.
And knowing what I know now… they were completely right. But not in the way they suspected.
Fibromyalgia is a medical condition characterized by a widespraid pain in muscles, connective tissues and joints. The pain comes and goes and is different for everyone. Some people experience constant pain, while others live a normal life with occasional flareups.
Typically for fibromyalgia is that different symptoms come together at the same time:
widespread pain, sore muscles, sleeping difficulties, headaches, digestive problems, change of mood, restless legs syndrome, numbness or a tingling feeling in arms and legs, anxiety, depression…
Fibro patients also experience sensitiveness in certain places, called tenderpoints. For a diagnosis to be made, you must have pain in at least 11 of 18 specific tenderpoints.
2% of all people have fibromyalgia. It is most common amongst women between 25 and 40.
There are no known causes so far. Many studies have tried to figure out what causes fibro, but it’s mostly a combination of many things: allergies to chemicals or foods, viruses, hormonal
problems, poor digestion, candidiasis, spinal misalignments, stress, or neurotransmitter
Because tension in muscles is not caused by those muscles, but by your brain, it is suspected that problems with neurotransmitters between brains and muscles could be the missing piece of the puzzle.
That means that it’s literally in my head 😉 my personal cause is probably the rare brain condition that I have that causes those neurotransmitting problems. Again that terrible brain of mine… that thing causes more trouble than you can imagine.
But the pain is real. The pain is also constantly there. Every night I wake up a lot of times because of the numbness in my arms and sometimes legs. I am a bad supporter of co-sleeping with your baby, but this numbness thing ruins it for me. It causes me to move a lot and I’m never able to lay in the same position for more than a few minutes. For me, that’s the worst part about fibromyalgia. I just want to hold my son in my arms and sleep peacefully next to him. But even though we sleep next to each other, it’s still not the same than holding him in my arms.
I always hate having to go to sleep. It means more pain because of the tingling feeling all the time and the worst pain of the day when I wake up in the morning.
The combination with my brain condition and fibromyalgia is not something I would recommend anyone. 😉
My brain condition causes my brain to be constantly swollen. You know those lines and grooves a typical brain has? I don’t have those… I was born with a swollen brain and those lines eroded out of it over the years. My brain looks like a massive ball.
The fybromyalgia causes tenderpoints in my neck, shoulders and upper back, making the entire area tender and painful. Once in a while, those places start to inflame and create a situation where my brainfluid can’t move between brain and back and is stuck in my head. See the picture there? A swollen brain and brainfluid that is stuck? Yep! Disaster scenario!
But even without that brain thing, fibromyalgia takes over your life. If it isn’t the constant pain, it’s the numbness at night. If it isn’t that, it’s being tired all the time.
Last week, I had a severe fibromyalgia attack. The first one, never had it this bad before.
All my muscles hurt and the only thing I could do was sitting through the pain (because I don’t want to use painkillers for anything) and rest. Not a bad thing of course, but I layed down for 3 whole days before it finally got better. Even now it’s not completely gone. And when I get tired in the evening, it washes over me pretty badly.
But having this amazing massage therapist as a husband, I always get through it.
This fibro attack did make us realize that I’m sick of it. I want a solution and I’m done accepting that nothing can treat fibromyalgia. The next couple of weeks, we’ll be researching this thing and make an end to this suffering. I don’t want it anymore.
Someone showed me the way to the Charlotte Gerson treatment, which already felt like coming home. We’ll see what the future brings. But I don’t stop fighting before I can hold my son in my arms while sleeping together.